What Self-Care Really Looks Like

When you hear the term self-care, what comes to mind? For many, it’s the Instagrammable version: candles, bath bombs, spa days, skincare splurges. And while there’s nothing wrong with indulging in a mani-pedi or your favorite face mask, true self-care goes far beyond pampering. Real self-care is about creating consistent habits that support your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. It’s about building a life that nurtures you—not just one that looks good on social media.

Here’s what that looks like for me. I break my self-care down into five core categories: nutrition, fitness, sleep, stress management, and connection. These are the pillars that keep me grounded, healthy, and in tune with myself.

Nutrition: Fueling, Not Fixating

I follow a mostly plant-based diet built around whole foods—think fruits, vegetables, whole grains, beans, lentils, and nuts. I loosely follow the 80/20 (or 90/10) rule: about 80–90% nourishing foods, with 10–20% reserved for fun or treat foods. I don’t count calories or track macros. I eat when I’m hungry, stop when I’m full, and that usually means three balanced meals a day. I’m not a big snacker unless my body tells me it needs more.

Do I deviate from this sometimes? Absolutely. Holidays, travel, PMS—they all throw my routine out of whack, and that’s okay. The key is that I want to return to whole foods because that’s when I feel my best.

Fitness: Moving for Strength, Not Punishment

There are endless ways to move your body, and I truly believe there’s something out there for everyone. For me, it’s weightlifting. For most of my life, I leaned into yoga, Pilates, dance, and cardio. But a few years ago, I decided I wanted to completely transform my body—and that’s when I discovered the empowering magic of lifting heavy.

Weightlifting shattered all the myths I’d heard about women and strength training. No, lifting won’t make you bulky. Yes, it will change your body in ways you never thought possible. Most of all, it will make you feel strong—physically and mentally. The confidence I’ve gained in the gym spills over into every other area of my life.

Sleep: A Work in Progress

Sleep is the trickiest part of my self-care routine—and the one I’m actively working on. I average about five hours a night, even though I know I need closer to seven or eight. Falling asleep isn’t the problem—it’s staying asleep. I often wake up around 3:00 a.m. and can’t drift back off. I’ve tried everything, but forcing it never works. What does help? Letting go of the pressure. The more I try to fall back asleep, the harder it becomes.

I’ve also noticed a strong connection between my sleep and my monthly cycle. During ovulation, I’m wide awake and buzzing with energy; other times, I sleep more soundly. Honoring those rhythms has helped me be a little more gentle with myself.

Stress Management: Releasing, Not Repressing

Stress is a constant in life, so I focus on how I respond to it. My go-to tool? Journaling. Sometimes I brain-dump everything I’m feeling. Other times, I write an unsent letter to the person or situation that’s weighing on me. Putting my thoughts on paper helps me process emotions instead of letting them build up.

I also use time limits to contain the spiral. If something’s stressing me out, I give myself 30 minutes to feel all the things—rage, cry, vent, whatever. Then, I pivot. Distraction helps, too. The busier I am, the less mental space I have to ruminate.

Connection: Nourishing the Heart

As an introvert and homebody, I cherish my alone time—but I also know how essential connection is for my well-being.

Every week, I make a conscious effort to connect with the people I love. Sometimes it’s grabbing lunch or taking a walk with a friend; other times, it’s a long phone call or a quick video chat. I always feel more grounded and whole after spending time with someone who really sees me.

So, What Does Self-Care Look Like for You?

Your self-care doesn’t need to look like mine. It doesn’t need to be perfect. And it definitely doesn’t need to be expensive. What matters is that it’s yours—that it makes you feel more alive, more at ease, more like yourself.

I’d love to hear: what are the self-care rituals that nourish you? Drop them in the comments below.