How to Heal a Broken Heart

This isn’t the usual type of post I write but something compelled me to do so. Right now, there’s so much content out there about “romanticizing” you life, the season, the fill in the blank, that sometimes we can forget that some people are going through a season of sadness. So I hope this helps you if you’re experiencing heartbreak right now.

Heartbreak is one of the most agonizing experiences we can face—and yet, it’s often dismissed as something we should “just get over.” I recently read a book by Dr. Guy Winch, How to Fix a Broken Heart, and in it he beautifully articulates how healing from emotional loss—especially romantic heartbreak—is far more complex than we thought. It’s not just an emotional thing. It’s neurological. It’s chemical. It’s a full-body withdrawal.

Brain studies have shown that the loss of romantic love activates the same regions in the brain as drug withdrawal. Heartbreak mimics the withdrawal patterns of heroin. So crazy! So if it feels like you’re going through something that shakes you to your core, it’s because you are. Every time you look at their photos, stalk their Instagram, or re-read old messages, it’s like giving yourself a small dose of a drug you’re trying to quit. It feels good for a second, but then the cravings return—stronger, more painful, and harder to resist.

And that’s why closure doesn’t always help. Closure often masquerades as healing, but what it really gives us is a temporary hit—a reason to engage with the very person we need to let go of. We think that if we just uncover the reason why things ended, then we’ll feel better and will be able to move on. The truth is, healing doesn’t come from understanding why something ended. It comes from accepting that it has.

Hope, too, can be destructive. When we’re heartbroken, we tend to cling to memories of the good times, painting our ex in an impossibly perfect light. We convince ourselves they were “the one,” that maybe if we wait or change or try harder, we’ll get them back. But this idealization only deepens our grief. One powerful tool Winch suggests is to actively balance the narrative. Write down the ways they were wrong for you—the times they hurt you, made you feel small, or failed to show up. This isn’t about demonizing them—it’s about grounding yourself in the whole truth, not just the romanticized version.

It’s also essential to understand that heartbreak can trigger serious emotional consequences. Nearly 40% of people experiencing heartbreak exhibit signs of clinical depression. That’s not just sadness—it’s a serious mental health concern that deserves care, attention, and possibly even professional support. Be gentle with yourself. This is not a sign of weakness. This is being human.

To truly heal a broken heart, you must begin to fill the voids left behind. Was your partner your confidant? Your cheerleader? Your plus-one to everything? Start rebuilding your life by filling those roles in other ways—through friends, new routines, creative outlets, even therapy. You’re not replacing the person; you’re reclaiming the space they took up and making it your own again.

Above all, give yourself compassion and patience. Healing isn’t linear, and it’s not quick. Some days will hurt more than others. But the fact that you’re reading this, seeking answers, means you’ve already started. And that’s something to be proud of.

You’re not broken—you’re healing. And healing is its own kind of strength.